There comes a time in everyone’s life where they start to question themselves and their actions on a daily basis. You begin to wonder whether you’re doing the right things, saying the right things and wanting the right things. It’s a pretty draining experience because you’re constantly secondly guessing yourself. I can honestly tell you that I’m not even remotely enjoying this phase. But then again, when has anyone ever enjoyed being in limbo?
Turning 25 last year marked the beginning of my quarter-life crisis (oh yeah, it exists and it’s brutal!). All of a sudden I felt like it was time to behave like a grown up without any prior warning. It’s pretty unfair if you think about it – it’s like suddenly pushing a kid who doesn't know how to swim into the deep end of the pool and expecting their fear of drowning to make them swim. That happened to me as a kid and I distinctly remember the incident – it involved me running into the changing room area, locking myself in the one of the cubicles (to hide from the swimming instructor) and then running home so that nobody could throw me back into that damn pool. Twenty years down the line, I realise that absolutely nothing has changed – Okay fine, I've grown taller and now you can tell the difference between my brother and I, but my fear of drowning is still clinging on aggressively. Hint: Substitute swimming with marriage and it all makes sense in the current context.
The M word is extremely stressful and parents stressing about the M word makes the situation exponentially worse. It’s not like I don’t understand their concerns but at times their point of view tends to unleash chaos in my already sugar high mind. On one hand parents train us and push us to be independent women but when we behave like independent women, we’re told to tone it down because our ‘progressive’ Indian society is still very much male-centric. Some may beg to differ but I genuinely believe that this is still a prominent problem. Take my parents for example – Even though they come from fairly conservative backgrounds, they are open minded about most things and try to find a middle ground where them and I can peacefully co-exist. They really are amazing people (I may be slightly biased but most people who know Papa and Mama Bear will agree with me) because regardless of how adorably old school they are - they believe that everyone deserves a second chance and they believe that people should be allowed to live freely without constantly having to worry about being judged. However, over the past year and a half, the arguments and intrusiveness regarding what I do, where I go, who I hangout with and why I need to go out after midnight have significantly increased. These things were never an issue before but since I have now 'come of age', it is important to portray the ‘correct’ aka homely image to the outside world. "Even if you're not doing anything wrong ra, people love to talk and jump to conclusions. It's better to be careful during such a crucial stage in your life" - is a frequently used justification to subtly encourage me to tone down my social life.
Clearly burning bras have gotten us nowhere - looks like we're going to have to come up with something more creative for the Indian subcontinent. Maybe burning aprons? Seeing as kitchen skills are far more important than being compassionate, driven and trying to be more than just a wallflower. But not to fret my fellow single ladies, the past year has made me realise that while the quarter-life crisis comes with it's fair share of stresses, the unexpected experiences along the way are worth the bumpy ride. Not only do they help you rediscover yourself; you figure out how you really want to live your life and who you want to spend it with. Always better to be a 110 percent sure than end up broken and damaged, at least that's what I think.
Turning 25 last year marked the beginning of my quarter-life crisis (oh yeah, it exists and it’s brutal!). All of a sudden I felt like it was time to behave like a grown up without any prior warning. It’s pretty unfair if you think about it – it’s like suddenly pushing a kid who doesn't know how to swim into the deep end of the pool and expecting their fear of drowning to make them swim. That happened to me as a kid and I distinctly remember the incident – it involved me running into the changing room area, locking myself in the one of the cubicles (to hide from the swimming instructor) and then running home so that nobody could throw me back into that damn pool. Twenty years down the line, I realise that absolutely nothing has changed – Okay fine, I've grown taller and now you can tell the difference between my brother and I, but my fear of drowning is still clinging on aggressively. Hint: Substitute swimming with marriage and it all makes sense in the current context.
Clearly burning bras have gotten us nowhere - looks like we're going to have to come up with something more creative for the Indian subcontinent. Maybe burning aprons? Seeing as kitchen skills are far more important than being compassionate, driven and trying to be more than just a wallflower. But not to fret my fellow single ladies, the past year has made me realise that while the quarter-life crisis comes with it's fair share of stresses, the unexpected experiences along the way are worth the bumpy ride. Not only do they help you rediscover yourself; you figure out how you really want to live your life and who you want to spend it with. Always better to be a 110 percent sure than end up broken and damaged, at least that's what I think.
Completely agree! This 'homely' image rubbish is overrated. I cook because it's something I love doing but it's not something I will go out my way to do if I'm having a crazy day at work. Men should also take an interest in running the house!! It's not like we're completely dependent on them anymore.
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