Slut Walk aka Besharmi Morcha

After taking a tour around the world, the Slut Walk finally made it's presence felt in India as the Besharmi Morcha. Well honestly, it seemed like the protest just created controversy in the media as opposed to really having any impact.

Around the world, women dressed up in provocative clothing and marched on the streets to take a stand for their right to dress the way they want and not be subjected to sexual harassment because of it. While it's great that some women feel so passionately about this, has the Slut Walk really achieved anything besides being a topic of conversation or the next juicy piece of meat for the media to sink their teeth into? Protesting while half naked and in some cases almost naked isn't going to change how people think. But then again that's just my take on it. The creeps that are out there aren't going to care whether you're taking a stand while fully clothed or provocatively. If they want to rape you...they're going to do it regardless. In fact, why give them the satisfaction of seeing your body? Why let them save that image of you in their memory? It wouldn't make me feel any better knowing that some pervert who's watching the protest is sexually harassing me in his thoughts.

The Besharmi Morcha in Delhi was different. The intention was different and women didn't go about it by walking around in their chaddis. They were dressed in their daily wear - kurtis, tees, shirts, jeans, pants and leggings. While one can appreciate that they went beyond the clothing and tried to focus on the bigger picture (pointing out how women can't live their life freely because every woman in Delhi is a potential victim of sexual harassment regardless of how she's dressed), the purpose was lost because it just wasn't possible for a population of 1.2 billion people to relate to this protest. We're still fighting for so many other issues - female genocide, education for girls, domestic violence and equality in the workplace. While these aren't predominant issues in the metros, they are still major concerns in smaller towns and villages. Women who care strongly about these issues took the initiative to educate people on female genocide, they helped set up schools for girls or made the effort to go teach them personally, they taught other women to stand up to their abusive husbands/in-laws while helping them to get back on their feet and they showed the world that women are just as capable as their male counterparts if not more.

Yes, Delhi isn't a safe place for women but how is protesting about this going to change anything in the city let alone India? Is it going to protect girls and women in U.P. who get raped even though they're dressed in salwars and saris?  The Besharmi Morcha is just going to shed light on the issue for a few days before it's tucked back into bed by the media. India is not like the western world. We are more conservative in terms of how a woman should dress and behave because that's just a part of our culture. What works all over the globe isn't going to have the same effect here because we function differently. Things take time and provoking misogynists isn't going to help our cause. Protesting is what we do when we want the government to take us seriously and with the Delhi Police Commissioner making statements such as, "You cannot travel at 2 a.m. and say that Delhi is unsafe…You should take your brother or driver with you", it's unlikely that there will be much support from the government. Taking a stand against sexual harassment requires a lot more effort because it's about subtly changing the mindset of the large population.

For every issue we've had to face as women, we've always adapted and made ourselves stronger. To me, it seems like the best way to win the battle against sexual harassment is by being street smart. Taking a self defense class seems to be a better use of time and effort. Don't just stop at you...teach other women how to protect themselves! This is just one precaution and there are many more that we're all aware of, so there's no point in me getting preachy and listing them. While these might not be foolproof solutions, carrying pepper spray seems to be a better option than holding signs and marching on the streets. As for being called a slut or any other derogatory word that is particularly targeted at women...rise above it. Once you start ignoring it, it stops bothering you and the word  loses it's power. Alternatively, we can always work towards diluting the meaning of slut, just like the opposite sex has done with the words pimp and player but that's just a temporary solution because there's always going to be another word.

There's a reason we lock our doors at night and make sure the windows are closed. It's how we put our mind at peace and make ourselves feel safer before going to bed. It doesn't mean we aren't living our lives freely, all it means is that we're doing it in a smarter way.

FYI - Some alarming statistics from http://indiafacts.in/statistics/crime-against-women-in-india/:

• West Bengal reported 28.1% of total Incest Rape cases

• Offenders were known to the victims in 92.5% of Rape cases

• Among 35 mega cities, Delhi city reported 29.5% of total Rape cases,  31.8% cases of Kidnapping & Abduction of Women, 15.6% cases (111 out of 711) of Dowry Deaths, 14.2% cases of Cruelty by Husband and Relatives and 21.5% cases of Molestation

• 49.9% conviction was reported in the country in Sexual Harassment cases (3,708 convictions out of 7,436 cases in which the trial was completed).

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

After two weeks of waiting impatiently, I finally got to watch Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara with the familia. Honestly, I thought the movie would be a disappointment because my expectations were ridiculously high (my friends have a knack for hyping things up and I love them for it!) but I thought wrong. The movie was incredible, I can finally understand why everyone who's seen it can't stop talking about it or using phrases/words from the movie in their conversations. You can't press Ctrl + Z and delete this from your memory because you feel like the movie represents a part of your life. Most of us can either completely relate to or at least see a glimpse of ourselves in Imran, Arjun, Kabir and Laila. This is what made the movie so special; its ability to let each person in the audience leave with a unique self realisation. It could be about anything....love, seizing the day, overcoming your fears or figuring out what your passion is.

For me, all it took was one simple moment in the movie to reinforce what was already on my mind. The scene where Laila borrows her friend's Harley and speeds off onto the highway is absolutely beautiful. It was a simple yet powerful metaphor and before I could control my self, there were tears flowing down my cheeks because it admonished me. That depiction of freedom and no regrets reminded me of the person I used to be just a year ago - free spirited and happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty dandy but growing up comes with certain restraints that subdue individuality. This seems to be the case particularly in India where everything you do after graduating from college is under scrutiny. It's a difficult adjustment if you've studied abroad and then decide to move back. After getting used to the independence and freedom, it's hard to imagine living life with so many constraints. You get judged for the way you talk, for the way you dress, for the people you hangout with and most importantly for how frequently you party (god forbid!). Initially it got to me because I realised how stressful it was for my parents to constantly worry about what the people in "our society" might think about me. But then I remembered that it's just been a year since I graduated from college, it's just been a year since I started working...I'm still freakin' young. There's too many things that I want to do right now, which can't be put on hold because some people have made it their favourite hobby to pass judgments on others. What's the point in worrying about what others think? I'm not shying away from my responsibilities, hurting anybody or being malicious. So I'm not going to apologise for who I am. Why be a low resolution version of myself for a "society" that's more busy judging others instead of living their own life? I'm going to let Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara give me that little push which was much needed and "seize the day".

It's my birthright to laugh, love and live and I'm going to do it my way.

P.S. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is definitely high up on the list of "must see" movies. Watch it with the subtitles on if necessary but don't miss this one!